Did we do the right thing?
Is there a right thing?
Are we where we're supposed to be?
Where do we go from here?
How will all the ends meet?
A year ago we lived with these same questions, a different context, but the same. I'm not sure that we'll ever be free of these questions, but what I now know is that the answer for all is the same. This year has changed me- from the inside out. I've watched fear drip off of me and my heart take on courage like I've never felt. Courage enough to be a mama. Courage enough to walk toward dreams. Courage enough to stare my husband in the eyes and say that I know that God is taking care of us- even if the ends don't meet even.
All I can say is that I think it is this practice of thanks that has loosened my tense shoulders and relaxed my anxious heart. I've listed and I've listed. Through tears, joy and uncertainty I've made the list longer- God has made the list longer. It has been in this listing that the answer has appeared shining through the dim cracks of life. God stoops low to give grace to a people with a laundry list of questions and ingratitude in their hearts.
The answer is always the same.
Grace upon grace. A baby. A man. A Savior. A God who draws near.
I'm celebrating these last couple of weeks of 2011 by counting more and more gifts. Hopefully I'll be celebrating with new life in my arms! Won't you celebrate along with me?
P.S. If the blog waves go silent for a few weeks, forgive me. I'm counting the days, minutes, seconds, until this little one makes her entrance! If I'm silent it is because I'm just drinking in sweet baby sighs and cries. Will you send along some prayers for this new mama? I'd sure appreciate them. LOVE, Jessica
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Thanks for stopping by my blog! I hope you've glimpsed God during your time here. Leave questions,thoughts,comments and encouragements. I will endeavor to respond to them all!
~Jessica